Wondering where the author of these fantastical stories might be spotted next? Just turn to the events page of the Chronicle. All past events are catalogued here as well, as the author occasionally likes to wander down memory lane.
Are you at a loss for the right words to hurl at insufferable folk? Now, through the miracle of 'automation', you can easily generate clever phrases such as "By the eight tentacles of King Kraken, a watch spring will fly loose, wrecking your best pair of brass goggles." Try it today! Impress your boss, gain the respect of family and friends, promptly dispatch solicitors, scare the dog.